Top Ten Reasons to be Thankful there weren't any lawyers on the Mayflower:
10. Conducting a trial on a small wooden ship would be difficult.
9. The Seamen's Union would go on strike, and refuse to offload passengers and freight until their lawyers conducted settlement negotiations.
8. It would have taken years to get zoning approval for the houses the Pilgrims wanted to live in.
7. Where would all of the secretaries and paralegals have slept?
6. Contract negotiations with the Indians would have delayed the food delivery by months.
5. Litigation over the failure to pay a minimum wage to the food preparation staff would have resulted in a strike, and nobody would get to eat.
4. A lawsuit over the despoliation of the environment would have caused the crops to go unharvested.
3. The Indians would have filed a lawsuit claiming that the Pilgrims were trespassing on tribal land, and obtained an injunction.
2. The Society for the Preservation of the Flowers of May would have prevented the docking of the ship, for tradename infringement.
And, drum-stick roll , please, the Number One reason to be thankful there were no lawyers on the MayFlower:
1. The Pilgrims and the Indians would have flooded the colonial courts with litigation for negligent food preparation when they all got sick from eating wild turkeys.
Enjoy your Feast. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank You, God, for making a world with work for lawyers.
(Hat tip to civtrial.com)
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